Up up up.

That's what my weight is doing once again, and it's disheartening. The less active lifestyle and access to easy snack foods that I find in my US home have not been helping me at all. Not one iota. And I'm so... bored/lonely lately that I find myself eating. And even WHILE I eat, I know that what I'm eating will not satisfy me.

It's not like going over my calories is a big deal. Until I look back, and see that I ate 3,700 today. And yesterday, I ate 2800. And the day before that, 3,200. When I look at these facts, it's not hard to understand why I weigh 312 pounds. And when I look back and see that today is the only day I've exercised, it's even less difficult.

My eating habits are clearly skewed. My nephew asked me last night if I was weighing my food because I was on a diet, and I wanted to cry. I don't want my nephews to think that over-eating a lot is ok, but I also don't want them to think that it's not ok to weigh your food if you are normal. So I explained that part of the reason I was overweight was because I don't know how to calculate my portions without eyeing the food, and that a lot of obese people have that problem. My sister jumped in and said that a lot of skinny people didn't, either.

But I'm not sure that's true. I would venture to say that most people at a healthy body weight don't measure their food because in the vast majority of cases, they are not eating 3,700 calories.

And it's not like I can even say over eating makes me happy, because it doesn't. It's just what I do.

I may never be a size 2, but I can be a healthier me. I took two walks, and I've done as well as I can do for today. Tomorrow is a new day.

Sunday Start

I woke up this morning, and decided that today, I would exercise thirty minutes and track my food. So far, I've tracked my food, and I've been cleaning. So the thirty minutes will come, and that will be that.

I weighed in at 310 today. My goal is to exercise 5/7 days this week for a half hour, and eat within my calorie ranges 6/7 days. Neither Sunday nor Monday may be the days that I go over on my calories.

Time to get to work.