If I want to incorporate healthy eating into my diet, I have to do it daily.
You'd think this would be self evident, but no. This entire week, I said "Tomorrow."
So, tonight I was supposed to go out to Vango's. I was tempted to say "tomorrow" and give into the lure of waffle fries. Instead...
I planned to go out to eat. And I managed to stay within my calories for today. Barely, but still. I was pretty pumped. It feels good to be back within my parameters.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Weight and Study Abroad
In choosing a study abroad destination, I opted to stay away from Asian countries. Why? I was concerned that I would be discriminated against due to my weight.
I ended up choosing Costa Rica. I still have no idea how Costa Ricans view obesity, so tonight I thought that I would do a google search. It's pretty damn difficult to find that out, to be perfectly honest. What was NOT difficult to figure out was how the USA feels about obesity.
Having lived in the USA, I know how I feel in certain circumstances and locations. But I don't kno our official stance on it as a country. When I typed in "views on obesity in the USA," I was amazed at how hateful some people can be. One Jill Elaine Hughes even went so far as to say that "Fat people are destroying America."
I disagree. Fat people are too lazy to destroy anything.
Obviously I'm being flippant. But seriously! Not okay!
Some people in the USA really, truly HATE obese people. But that hasn't detracted from my life overall.
So I guess that it doesn't really matter if I'm fat when I study abroad. It surely can't be worse than being fat in the US. Which may sound like, awful? But it's actually pretty comforting.
I ended up choosing Costa Rica. I still have no idea how Costa Ricans view obesity, so tonight I thought that I would do a google search. It's pretty damn difficult to find that out, to be perfectly honest. What was NOT difficult to figure out was how the USA feels about obesity.
Having lived in the USA, I know how I feel in certain circumstances and locations. But I don't kno our official stance on it as a country. When I typed in "views on obesity in the USA," I was amazed at how hateful some people can be. One Jill Elaine Hughes even went so far as to say that "Fat people are destroying America."
I disagree. Fat people are too lazy to destroy anything.
Obviously I'm being flippant. But seriously! Not okay!
Some people in the USA really, truly HATE obese people. But that hasn't detracted from my life overall.
So I guess that it doesn't really matter if I'm fat when I study abroad. It surely can't be worse than being fat in the US. Which may sound like, awful? But it's actually pretty comforting.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Man's Greatest Glory
Is not in never falling, but in rising every time he falls. ~Confucius
As we did our self critiques, it occurred to me that the main reason I started this blog was so that this semester I would focus on my health. It's been an interesting journey.
Last year, I left school at around 330. I went to camp and lost about twenty pounds. Today, I weighed in at 324.
As hard as it is to say, my mission thus far has been met with das fail.
But it's something that needs to be said. Every day that I've said "Gosh, it's just one day" is a day I could have been doing something productive. We've only got two weeks of this project, yeah, but that doesn't mean I've only got two weeks to lose weight.
I keep waiting for the convenient time to lose weight. I look back over this semester, and it occurs to me there is no such thing. So, I'm going to wrap up this post, and go exercise for 15 minutes.
As we did our self critiques, it occurred to me that the main reason I started this blog was so that this semester I would focus on my health. It's been an interesting journey.
Last year, I left school at around 330. I went to camp and lost about twenty pounds. Today, I weighed in at 324.
As hard as it is to say, my mission thus far has been met with das fail.
But it's something that needs to be said. Every day that I've said "Gosh, it's just one day" is a day I could have been doing something productive. We've only got two weeks of this project, yeah, but that doesn't mean I've only got two weeks to lose weight.
I keep waiting for the convenient time to lose weight. I look back over this semester, and it occurs to me there is no such thing. So, I'm going to wrap up this post, and go exercise for 15 minutes.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Obesity and Traveling
I love to travel. The thrill of going somewhere new is amazing. Unfortunately, since gaining my last twenty pounds, the process of traveling itself evokes anxiety and frustration.
There are the obvious hindrances. I'm uncomfortable in the seats. I need a seat belt extension. I eat a lot when I travel. No news there.
But it also occurs to me that packing is made more difficult by my plus size. There's no way I'm getting more than two pairs of size 26 jeans and three t-shirts in a carry-on. I could get a lot more clothing in if I were, say, a size 12.
Just sayin'. Something to think about and work towards.
By the way... Smile. You're wonderful. :)
There are the obvious hindrances. I'm uncomfortable in the seats. I need a seat belt extension. I eat a lot when I travel. No news there.
But it also occurs to me that packing is made more difficult by my plus size. There's no way I'm getting more than two pairs of size 26 jeans and three t-shirts in a carry-on. I could get a lot more clothing in if I were, say, a size 12.
Just sayin'. Something to think about and work towards.
By the way... Smile. You're wonderful. :)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Roadtrips are baaaad.
I have run into my first MAJOR weekend of having issues. I am starting this week feeling somewhat disheartened.
This weekend was sneaky. It started with a road trip. Let's be honest, folks-- sitting in a car for eight hours with a steady supply of KitKats and Mounds will NEVER end well. Because I had the mini candy bars, it was even worse.
"Mmm. That mini KitKat was delicious! But I only had one, so it's totally okay if I have one more... and one more..."
And of course, me being me, I didn't write it down. I just know that when the trip ended, sixteen mini candy bars were gone. Granted, my friends ate some. But even if I only ate half... that's a lot of junk! Add onto that fast food when we wanted a "real meal" and you can see how this weekend started.
The middle of the weekend was full of beer-- lots of beer-- and restaurant food. Hefty portions, too. Went to this microbrewery/deli called Founders. It was... sort of delicious. The beer was excellent. However, I vastly overestimated my ability to handle spiciness, and ordered this thing called a Devil Dancer. Roasted chicken, chipotle mayo, chipotle peppers, jalapenos, pepperjack cheese, and banana peppers.
The first bite was quite lovely. Unfortunately, I couldn't taste anything for the rest of the day AFTER the first bite. It became more bearable once I scraped off the chipotle and jalapeno peppers. The damage had been done, though. I left with burning fingertips, a tongue that could rival a Michigan side street in potholes, and a tummy ache. Next time: No chipotle. The bread was FANTASTIC, though.
Anyways. I'm back on today. Started my morning with a workout, ate a healthy breakfast, and all that fun stuff. I can't WAIT to make some Greek Quinoa with Avocado tonight. My body is all like "Nutrients pleeeeease!"
As an ending note... I have Cerise Cherry beer from Founders. It needs to be consumed by tonight. If you'd like some, please let me know! It's really tasty. I just can't drink any more.
This weekend was sneaky. It started with a road trip. Let's be honest, folks-- sitting in a car for eight hours with a steady supply of KitKats and Mounds will NEVER end well. Because I had the mini candy bars, it was even worse.
"Mmm. That mini KitKat was delicious! But I only had one, so it's totally okay if I have one more... and one more..."
And of course, me being me, I didn't write it down. I just know that when the trip ended, sixteen mini candy bars were gone. Granted, my friends ate some. But even if I only ate half... that's a lot of junk! Add onto that fast food when we wanted a "real meal" and you can see how this weekend started.
The middle of the weekend was full of beer-- lots of beer-- and restaurant food. Hefty portions, too. Went to this microbrewery/deli called Founders. It was... sort of delicious. The beer was excellent. However, I vastly overestimated my ability to handle spiciness, and ordered this thing called a Devil Dancer. Roasted chicken, chipotle mayo, chipotle peppers, jalapenos, pepperjack cheese, and banana peppers.
The first bite was quite lovely. Unfortunately, I couldn't taste anything for the rest of the day AFTER the first bite. It became more bearable once I scraped off the chipotle and jalapeno peppers. The damage had been done, though. I left with burning fingertips, a tongue that could rival a Michigan side street in potholes, and a tummy ache. Next time: No chipotle. The bread was FANTASTIC, though.
Anyways. I'm back on today. Started my morning with a workout, ate a healthy breakfast, and all that fun stuff. I can't WAIT to make some Greek Quinoa with Avocado tonight. My body is all like "Nutrients pleeeeease!"
As an ending note... I have Cerise Cherry beer from Founders. It needs to be consumed by tonight. If you'd like some, please let me know! It's really tasty. I just can't drink any more.
Monday, April 5, 2010
You never thought weight affected this...
Weight influences all sorts of things. Comfort on a roller coaster. Size of my pants. Which angle my nipples got pierced at.
“So,” the piercer said. “You have nice nipples. Are you planning on losing weight?”
I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that. “Thanks. Um… I would like to, yes.”
“Ok. Well, I only ask because right now, if I pierce them straight, and you lose weight, they’ll be crooked, see? And if I pierce them at an angle now, they’ll be straight when you lose weight.”
This is good info to have. Just sayin’.
“So,” the piercer said. “You have nice nipples. Are you planning on losing weight?”
I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that. “Thanks. Um… I would like to, yes.”
“Ok. Well, I only ask because right now, if I pierce them straight, and you lose weight, they’ll be crooked, see? And if I pierce them at an angle now, they’ll be straight when you lose weight.”
This is good info to have. Just sayin’.
Horrible Things People Do
Yesterday was the least productive day ever. I had all these wonderful intentions-- I was going to clean my room, and work out, and eat well, and end world hunger. Yeah. It was going to be a REALLY productive day.
Then I watched this movie, and I was so depressed afterward, I could hardly function. It was loosely based on this girl Sylvia Likens, and her care taker. This girl was like, 16? And the person taking care of allowed and encouraged a whole slew of children to abuse her. When they autopsied her body, she had over 100 burns on her body. They had heated up a sewing needle and tattooed “I’m a prostitute” into her stomach.
Which got me to thinking about all the disturbing news I’ve been hearing lately and how often people just sit back because we are afraid. I can’t actually end world hunger all by my lonesome, and I can’t alter the infrastructure of the whole world. But I can lead by example, I suppose. Maybe not the whole world, but, hey, gotta aim big.
And part of leading by example is being healthy, difficult as it may be.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite quotations. It’s by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Then I watched this movie, and I was so depressed afterward, I could hardly function. It was loosely based on this girl Sylvia Likens, and her care taker. This girl was like, 16? And the person taking care of allowed and encouraged a whole slew of children to abuse her. When they autopsied her body, she had over 100 burns on her body. They had heated up a sewing needle and tattooed “I’m a prostitute” into her stomach.
Which got me to thinking about all the disturbing news I’ve been hearing lately and how often people just sit back because we are afraid. I can’t actually end world hunger all by my lonesome, and I can’t alter the infrastructure of the whole world. But I can lead by example, I suppose. Maybe not the whole world, but, hey, gotta aim big.
And part of leading by example is being healthy, difficult as it may be.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite quotations. It’s by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Sparkdiet: Day 14
This week went much better than last week.
Tomorrow, I will be starting stage two. I will be focusing on more than just working out, blogging and eating home-packed lunches; I will be expanding. These things are going to be my base. I'm feeling way more confident this time around.
One of the suckiest things about going to the bar is the amount of calories in beverages. I have to like, not eat in order to get a proper buzz going. Guess I'll have to avoid alcohol except on special occasions.
I was entering in my drinks on sparkpeople this morning. It takes me about 1/2 of a fifth to get drunk. One fifth is 750 mL, which is somewhere around 24 ounces. This means it takes me 12 shots.
Each shot has at least 69 calories. Not including a chaser. That's 828 calories of dehydrating, vitamin sapping fluid.
And yet... it's so worth it once in a while. Guess I'll just have to decide when it's really worth it.
Tomorrow, I will be starting stage two. I will be focusing on more than just working out, blogging and eating home-packed lunches; I will be expanding. These things are going to be my base. I'm feeling way more confident this time around.
One of the suckiest things about going to the bar is the amount of calories in beverages. I have to like, not eat in order to get a proper buzz going. Guess I'll have to avoid alcohol except on special occasions.
I was entering in my drinks on sparkpeople this morning. It takes me about 1/2 of a fifth to get drunk. One fifth is 750 mL, which is somewhere around 24 ounces. This means it takes me 12 shots.
Each shot has at least 69 calories. Not including a chaser. That's 828 calories of dehydrating, vitamin sapping fluid.
And yet... it's so worth it once in a while. Guess I'll just have to decide when it's really worth it.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Sparkdiet: Day 12
Yo, yo, uh.
I just felt like rapping a little bit. It happens now and again. :)
Today was fairly good. I went to Jazz Dance-- that was a workout. After class, I mentioned to the teacher that I wasn't sure if I should be in the front line for the performance. She said she might move me to the back, but I had to be in the center.
"Why?"
"Well... You have a big, powerful body, and if you were on an end, it would seem unbalanced."
I sort of see where she's coming from. But I was upset-- not so much because of this, but I think because of the other things that I've been unable to do because of my "big, powerful body."
In high school, I tried out for the role of a Jester in a high school dinner we were putting on. She cast a slender person, and at first, I thought "Ok, it's cool. She just outperformed me."
Later, the choir teacher said "I should have cast you. It was just that I already had the costume."
Cute. So, the jester kept messing up her lines through out the whole thing, but whatever. It's all good, right?
It's these type of experiences that make it so damn difficult for me to audition for things, or perform. I try to tell myself daily that it doesn't matter; if I act like my weight doesn't matter, everybody else will act the same. It's true, and not true. Like I've said before, yeah, I'm attractive. I'm able to talk to people, but if it gets to any sort of auditioning stage? Nuh uh. I like improv because it's more like hanging out in front of an audience; I don't feel judged.
I'm not sure where you go with this sort of thing. Do I keep struggling? Giving up is clearly not an option, but it's like I'm on a treadmill. Making the motions to get absolutely nowhere, with no fun along the way. I far prefer hikes, dancing, and swimming. So maybe I just need to think outside of the box.
And... day 5 of at least 10 minutes of exercise down.
I just felt like rapping a little bit. It happens now and again. :)
Today was fairly good. I went to Jazz Dance-- that was a workout. After class, I mentioned to the teacher that I wasn't sure if I should be in the front line for the performance. She said she might move me to the back, but I had to be in the center.
"Why?"
"Well... You have a big, powerful body, and if you were on an end, it would seem unbalanced."
I sort of see where she's coming from. But I was upset-- not so much because of this, but I think because of the other things that I've been unable to do because of my "big, powerful body."
In high school, I tried out for the role of a Jester in a high school dinner we were putting on. She cast a slender person, and at first, I thought "Ok, it's cool. She just outperformed me."
Later, the choir teacher said "I should have cast you. It was just that I already had the costume."
Cute. So, the jester kept messing up her lines through out the whole thing, but whatever. It's all good, right?
It's these type of experiences that make it so damn difficult for me to audition for things, or perform. I try to tell myself daily that it doesn't matter; if I act like my weight doesn't matter, everybody else will act the same. It's true, and not true. Like I've said before, yeah, I'm attractive. I'm able to talk to people, but if it gets to any sort of auditioning stage? Nuh uh. I like improv because it's more like hanging out in front of an audience; I don't feel judged.
I'm not sure where you go with this sort of thing. Do I keep struggling? Giving up is clearly not an option, but it's like I'm on a treadmill. Making the motions to get absolutely nowhere, with no fun along the way. I far prefer hikes, dancing, and swimming. So maybe I just need to think outside of the box.
And... day 5 of at least 10 minutes of exercise down.
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